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Palm at the bottom, punishments and screams in the discipline of the child

Palm at the bottom, punishments and screams in the discipline of the child


Palm at the bottom, punishments and screams are some of the most common techniques used by parents in disciplining the child. However, some of them are not only ineffective, but become a negative example to be followed by children and leave emotional traces in their development.

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Here's how to properly use punishments in the disciplinary process and why you should never resort to slapping or screaming!

Palm at the bottom in the discipline of the child

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Palm at the bottom is one of the most controversial disciplinary methods. There are parents who still trust the efficiency of this technique, so criticized by psychologists and specialists in child development.

Many of them declare against hitting the child as a method of discipline, but I admit that sometimes they get a little more than a slap on the little ass or cheek.

In fact, slapping is only a form of releasing the stress and stresses of the parent and ending, in the short term, the naughty behavior of the child.

The specialists consider that it is one of the least efficient methods of discipline and that the constant repetition of these types of "correction" of the behavior can leave deep traces in the future development of the child.

Slapping is ineffective because it makes the child feel humiliated, helpless and irritated and to believe that this is a useful method of problem solving. Send the wrong message to the child. It won't be long until he takes over your behavior and puts it into practice with other kids his age.

In addition, the palm does not offer, in the disciplinary process, an alternative behavior, which makes it ineffective. The little man is physically assaulted for his deed, but he is not offered the correct option in which he should have behaved, a counter-example to his inappropriate behavior.

The child learns nothing from the punishment applied and often receives an erroneous message. For example, if the little boy breaks a glast and there is a risk of getting injured in it, and then he receives a palm at the bottom, the message you send is that he receives the palm at the bottom, so that otherwise he would not do this, because he would it could hurt. But, for the little boy, the message you convey is confusing - "I hit you, that is, I hurt you, precisely because I do not want to hurt you". What is the difference between the fact that he was injured in the drums and the fact that you hurt him, hitting him? How could he understand that you are doing it for his own good? It follows that hitting itself is a good thing!

Positive discipline, praise and encouragement of the child for positive deeds, to the detriment of the accentuation of the negative ones, is a much better discipline.

Penalties for disciplining the child

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Punishments are a useful method of disciplining the child, but only if they are used correctly and within acceptable limits. Not all punishments are tolerated in the process of his education and not all are effective.

Cristina Calarasanu, a psychologist specialized in "Family Psychoanalytic Therapy", argues that the parent appeals to the sentence when he feels overcome by the situation in which the child puts him at one point and knows nothing else but to exercise his authority over him.

The psychologist argues that physical punishments are ineffective and only produce feelings of fear of the child, which later turns into hatred and anger. Because he will not be able to direct his hatred on the parents, the child will have the tendency to move and reverse it on other children and thus to achieve an aggressive, naughty behavior, totally opposite to the purpose for which the punishment was initiated.

In order for the punishment to work and be effective in the development of the child, they must be integrated into a well-developed system of rules and limits, of which the child will be aware at all times.

The rules are essential for the proper functioning of a family and the child within it and they need an unequivocal and constant applicability in disciplining it. The little one must be aware of the existence of the rules, of what they are and what they suppose, but also of the consequences of their violation.

The punishment must result in the loss of privilege in children. Only if the child is denied or restricted access to an activity or object he likes, the punishment works. You may be denied the right to play with your favorite toy, watch TV or play computer games. These are recommended penalties and considered effective in children.

These restrictions must always be accompanied by explanations and arguments, says the psychologist. The child needs to know and understand why he is put in this situation, where he was wrong, to realize what he feels and how not to make the same mistake in the future.

Screams in disciplining the child

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In many cases, the parent's screams appear as involuntary and uncontrollable. The child brings the parent to a stage where he can no longer control his nerves (and even decibels) and uses an avalanche of reproaches, in the form of a quarrel, which take the form of a whisper.

This pattern of behavior provides a negative example to the child, who learns that problems can be solved by screaming or getting a habit of yelling. You cannot reproach her as a girl and you cannot command her to shut up, since you do it fully.

If you scream every time you make a banana, you will usually establish a variety. The little boy will teach you that only when you raise the tone is the signal that he must stop what he is doing, and in other conditions he will not do it again.

By raising your voice, experts claim that you won't get what you want from your little one. On the contrary, as you resort to screaming more often, the child will gain tolerance for them, and at some point they will no longer work.

In addition, they also send a wrong message to the child, showing them that you are out of wires and that you cannot control the situation. In this way the little one identifies the weak point and takes advantage of it every time.

The best thing to do is to be firm and confident in yourself when you are facing the inappropriate behavior of the little one, but keeping calm. It does not show your emotions in front of him, even if you come to scream. If you get nervous, take a short break before reacting, count from 10 to 1 in your mind and breathe deeply. Only then would the punishment be directly proportional to his act, a more efficient method of disciplining the child.

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