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From home to kindergarten, a difficult passage?

From home to kindergarten, a difficult passage?


From home to kindergarten, a difficult passage?

We are talking about the moment when the child, 2, 3, 4 years old or even older, goes to kindergarten for the first time. The previous period was spent in the family environment, together with the mother (usually the first 2 years), with the father, grandparents or granddaughter. Occasionally played with other children in the park, at children's parties or during visits. Of course, the first separation from the family environment and entering a group with unknown people, adults and children is an important step.

Why does it depend on whether this passage will be easy and pleasant or difficult or even traumatic?

Factors that can influence the child's attitude

The child's curiosity

The curiosity of the child, the investigative spirit that can make him be very interested to know other children, another place, other toys, other activities. This has been seen since the child was very young. He always tends to play with other children's toys, ask questions, learn new games from them.

Also, in relationships with adults, he is doing well, he is not inhibited, he looks in front of him, he talks, he asks questions. Such a child will probably not face difficulties when entering kindergarten and will be very excited about the new way to spend their time, will tell home about colleagues, sing and recite the learned and will be attached to children and educators.

The attitude of the mother and the family

If the mother considers kindergarten or nursery good things for the child. If he trusts that he will be well taken care of and that he will have to win or if the mother looks at the kindergarten staff with suspicion, she is afraid that the little one may become ill, she will learn ugly words, take a beating, etc., the child feels his mother's attitude so much. from her words, as well as beyond them, in what she feels and unconsciously transmits to her.

There are situations when the mother is forced to give the child to kindergarten to resume her service. He does not do it with a light heart and not with pleasure, but with need. At other times it is the pity of a child, considering it too small to have a fixed schedule, to be among strangers. In these conditions, she is the one who should first get used to the idea of ‚Äč‚Äčkindergarten. There is also the possibility that she or another family member may have had a sad experience with kindergarten. These experiences, memories, fears influence the child.

Dependence on the mother or, rarely, another family member (grandmother, aunt, granddaughter)

There are situations, not a few, in which the child does not accept to stay with someone else. Either because the mother was with him from birth, either because the child had some problems and no one had the courage to leave him in someone else's company, or that the mother did not actually have anyone to leave with. It is a special situation because, in this case, the sociability of the child is not developed, he fears strangers, does not accept to stay with them, to play with other children without the mother or the protective adult.

Here are most of the problems related to the adaptation to kindergarten. The child cannot become interested in new people, new toys and activities because they are afraid. His only concern is how to avoid this situation or what to do to get back to his mother's arms faster. From crying to somatic reactions (belly pain, vomiting, fever), aggressive manifestations, apathy, nightmares, all are encountered in such cases.

Of course, preparation is needed for this big change in the child's life. From time to time, the mother and the other members of the family take him to see the kindergarten where he will go, to buy together the necessary things (backpack, notebook, slippers, etc.), to talk with him about the program, about the kindergarten activities. It is very good when the child meets another child in kindergarten, a play buddy or a neighbor. Children who have brothers or sisters in kindergarten usually adapt more easily, being helped by them, taken together, etc.

It is also important for the child to express his or her thoughts, fears, feelings about kindergarten, ask questions about colleagues, educators, games and more. It is good for parents to encourage these kindergarten discussions before the actual start time.

The games, a help to get used to the child in kindergarten

And the kindergarten game is very useful. The child puts on his backpack, the mother is an educator, she asks him to color or build a lego; if there are more children participating in this game it is even better. Especially girls often take on the role of educator and give homework to other children, teach them to dance, to color.

As for fears, they always have a reason. For the child it is important to see in the educator a trusted adult, with whom he can talk, to whom he can ask what he needs and not as a persecutor.

Many parents and grandparents frighten the child with the kindergarten by saying, "You will see at the kindergarten, not all your cravings will do as you do them!". Especially for children who have not stayed elsewhere and with other people until kindergarten, it is difficult to spend so many hours without a mother. Therefore, sometimes it is necessary an accommodation period in which the child is less in kindergarten (3-4 hours), following that after becoming familiar with the environment to switch to the normal program.

Some children take home a favorite toy to help them not feel alone. Of course, the educators and the kindergarten staff have a very important role, some being very skilled in helping the child to integrate, others being more indifferent or more reluctant. A child crying a few hours each day is hard to bear. What else to say about those who scream, kick, do not accept to eat or sleep, roll on the floor.

Relationship of parents with the educator

The contact between parents and educators is very useful, so that parents know what happens to the child in kindergarten, what they like, what they refuse and can send to the kindergarten staff information about their child (there are children who like to dance, to others). they like outdoor games, others do not support certain gestures or food).

The better the communication between adults and the child, the greater the chances of success. Regarding the unfortunate events, the children who have suffered in kindergarten, have not been able to adapt, have been badly treated and the kindergarten child needs a specialist who can find out what the child feels and how to overcome this trauma.

In the worst cases, the refusal of kindergarten can be prolonged with the refusal of the school, so if you are in a situation that you feel you cannot solve with your own strengths, do not stand in your thoughts.

Some small difficulties pass by themselves or over time as the child grows up, he begins to understand and express himself better. Others, more serious, not only do not pass, but can worsen producing different symptoms: tics, phobias, negativism, withdrawal itself, lack of confidence, nightmares, enuresis, somatic manifestations).

Tags Kindergarten children Preparation kindergarten children Kindergarten personal relationship