In detail

How to tell your child you are divorcing

How to tell your child you are divorcing




If you have made the decision to divorce you need to know how to tell your child that you are divorcing without hurting him too much. At the same time, you must understand, you and your partner, that you love him and that you do not abandon him.
First of all, before you tell the child, you must think carefully if the decision is irrevocable. Then, talk to your partner about the future discussion with the child to agree who, what and how to say.
It is preferable for both partners to participate in the discussion with the child.
This will mean a lot to the child's eyes. If you have more than one child, it is best to tell them all at once to prevent one of them from learning from the other and not from you.
During the conversation it is good for you and your partner to stay calm and not blame each other.
If you start to argue in front of the child, you will create a feeling of panic and anxiety.
Prepare a general explanation to give to the child. If the child is not old enough, do not go into personal details that can confuse him even more.
Explain to the child exactly how life will change from now on.
You will want to know where you will live, with whom and in general any other important changes. If you don't know all the details yet, tell him this.
Give her details about the parent leaving home. The more details, where it will live, when it will be seen etc, the better. In this way, the child will feel more at ease knowing that he will be able to maintain the relationship with the departing parent, although they will not live together.
Provide assurance to the child about your unconditional love for him. Tell him that it is not his fault at all and that nothing they did or could do did not cause this rupture.
Be prepared for any reaction to the news and accept it as it is.
They may not have any apparent reaction, cry or become nervous. Respect his feelings knowing that there is no "right" reaction to this.
Let him ask questions and answer them honestly. Tell her that you will discuss another divorce date and that she will be able to ask you any questions you want.
Give him time to get comfortable with the news and offer him your unconditional help to overcome the moment.
Also read the forum dictionary When parents get divorced.
Alexandra Ilie
Editor